Ladies We Are Now Good Enough!

author Rev. Sandra Scott Wright

Great Scholars, studying what they call “emotions” and we call spiritual forces, said the following:

“Guilt says I’ve done something wrong; shame says there is something wrong with me.

Guilt says I’ve made a mistake; shame says I am a mistake.

Guilt says what I did was not good; shame says I am no good.”  Bradshaw (1988)

With guilt, the response is a desire for atonement, to make amends, to correct a mistake, or heal a hurt.  With shame, there is a just painful feeling of depression, alienation, self-doubt, loneliness, isolation, paranoia, compulsive disorders, perfectionism, inferiority, inadequacy, failure, helplessness, hopelessness, and narcissism.

“Shame is a sickness of the soul. It is the most poignant experience of the self by the self, whether felt in humiliation or cowardice, or in a sense of failure to cope successfully with a challenge. Shame is a wound felt from the inside, dividing us both from ourselves and from one another.” Kaufman (1996)

I look at these statements ‘there is something wrong with me…I am a mistake…I am no good…all the inner whispering of the voice that has followed me and many women like me for our lifetime.  We were ashamed of our hair; perhaps it wasn’t long enough, or straight enough or curly or too curly.  Perhaps we were not thin enough or too fat or too tall or too short.  We were wives not good enough, we didn’t cook well enough, our house could never be clean enough, and our children never tidy enough…

Many of us have lived a lifetime just trying to be ‘good enough’.  Regardless of what we did we never measured up and yet we are still trying.  We have been performing all our lives. Perhaps if I sing better, cook better, go to school, perform, perform, perform…and yet it is NEVER enough…

I am tired and I know you are too my sister.  God says ‘His grace is sufficient for me for us.” He has everything we need. We are complete in Him alone.  Our completeness is not because we can ‘perform ourselves’ into acceptance, but because of whose we are.

“ For in him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily.. And you are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power:”Colossians 2:10 Our birthright our acceptance of Christ: we are  the daughters of the King of Kings.  We are Good Enough: If you burn the chicken, if you have dust bunnies at home, hair out of place, never had children, …children a disappointment?  You are good enough!  Your identity is in whose you are not what you’ve done! Its time to let go of the shame: The feelings of inadequacies.  How much more cooking, cleaning, perfecting, performing do you have to do to feel like you are now Good enough?  Nothing will do it is a false foundation. You are good enough you are fearfully and wonderfully made now that you are a child of the King.

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works;” Psalm 139:14

Welcome to royalty my sister. Welcome to your palace bought by the blood of Jesus. Adorn yourself with garments of praise and honor.  Put on the garments of praise for the spirit of heaviness.  You no longer have to perform. You are good enough! You are the Kings daughter!

“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is on me; because the LORD has anointed me to preach good tidings to the meek; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;

2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;

3 To appoint to them that mourn in Zion, to give to them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.” Isaiah 6l:1-3

Rev. Sandra Scott Wright, BCh.M

For further deliverance read

Overcoming the Spirit of Guilt & The “Master” Spirit of Shame: Finishing The Work!