Dr. Sandra Scott Wright, Ph.D

He Cheated: Hate Or A Four Letter Word by Dr. Sandra Scott Wright

I was told of a true story of a couple married some 30 years and one day the husband came home and said he was moving out. To make matters worse, he moved in with an employee on the same job where they, he and the wife work.  That was not the shocking thing, what was mine boggling was  this same wife would see this new found couple everyday, and she was cordial to both the abandoned husband and his new girlfriend.  I was told she didn’t have any bitterness and in fact was one of the sweetest persons you would ever know!  I didn’t believe this until I saw and met her for myself…

I am retelling this story

Because at the time I said “I am not such a woman.” Now as I look back over my life I realize I still would not be that woman, but I am all that I have allowed God to transform me into. Having been married some 19 + years, divorced and remarried,  I see the transformation in myself, only possible by the empowerment of the Holy Spirit.  I remember the day I actually became aware of betrayal and how it felt.  It was a message left on the separate phone of our home, one I vary rarely answered . This particular day for some reason I answered it..”I enjoyed our hugging and kissing the other day, I hope we can do it again.” That was the message on the phone.  I felt violated, betrayed, and any other negative emotion you can think of…

I remember when

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Sex or a Four Letter Word by Dr. Sandra Scott Wright

I find it quite interesting how women will measure the worth of a man by the size of his appendages.  Oh we all may be familiar with the old comparison big feet big _____.  We determine his worth by this criteria.  Oh there are more, i.e. the car, job, place of dwelling that he has.  For now however I want to deal with this one, his appendage or tool. I was asked the other day ‘Does size matter?”  I hesitated to answer the question, for I wanted to take time to contemplate on the true question.

We as women ask for things, and wonder why when we get them, they don’t satisfy.  Does size matter? Has performance set the standard for a great relationship?  Shall we grade our relationship on a scale of 1 to 10? What happens if you have a 3 has he failed?  Shall we dispense of the person as we do a useless piece of paper or soiled rag?

Then…

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Loss Is Gain: A Releasing To God Will Yield Glorious Promotion! by Dr. Sandra Scott Wright

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“But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15

Loss is Gain. The stripping away, the abandonment, loss of job forced retirement, loss of a friend, husband, wife or child. Foreclosures, shall the list continue…Loss of ones health, vitality and youth. Suddenly you wake up one day, to find you are no longer young, you are fat, skinny, the hair is gray, the children have lives of their own…you no longer have to get up for work…where has it all gone…

Loss is hard, whether voluntary stripping, release or a ripping tearing away, loss is hard: Hard on the emotions, hard spiritually even for the spiritually strong, simply hard.  Child fighting with spouse, who will win, which one will you choose over?  Leave or stay, spouse doesn’t treat you with care anymore, leave or stay.  He is kind to you, provides, but doesn’t want to marry you…leave or stay.  You have been faithful in giving your offerings, and a good steward in all God has given you, and now your house is in foreclosure…leave or stay? Trying to be a good steward of the body God has given you, trapped by genetic predispositions of high blood pressure, diabetes, heart trouble, obesity, live or die, leave or stay…Wake up one morning finding the house feeling empty, spouse there but not there, leave or stay…

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Wife? Divorcee? Single Woman? Who Am I Now?

by Sandra Scott Wright

No longer wife, who was I now?  I enjoyed jogging, but was I a jogger? I enjoyed swimming but was I a swimmer?  Who was I? I began to write poetry, I read books still searching for identity.  Deep down inside I believed I didn’t want to get married again …no not ever.  The pain of abandonment was too intense.  Shame, I felt shame to some extent, shame of a failed marriage. Shame that somehow I wasn’t good enough…

My parents had been married some 50+ years and never divorced. I was a  minister encouraging women and married couples everywhere, and now me I was divorced! Shame of somehow I had failed. I wasn’t good enough.  Maybe if I had cooked better, sewed better ( I use to tailor my husband’s suits) was more romantic etc. Maybe if I was a different me.

It dawned on me for the past year I had been secretly trying to prove to myself that I ‘was’ good enough. That was why the jogging, the swimming, the losing weight etc.  Though I enjoyed these things deep down inside I was trying to prove to myself, that I ‘was’ good enough.  It was only towards the end of this journey that I realized I was still empty. It was all disillusionment.  Who was I fooling? Who was I trying to prove things too? I realized there was no one to prove anything too, not even myself. I was not identified as a wife only, or even single woman. I was not just a nurse, or minister who had failed in her marriage…I was a child of God. A daughter of the King of Kings! I was not a woman who had failed in marriage. I was not a barren women childless, I was not a single woman with no one to love her…I was the daughter of the King of Kings. I was fearfully and wonderfully made. I was the head and not the tail of anything my Father had created.  I was of royalty not based upon my journey or failures or success but based upon whom I belonged to…I was and is a child of the King.  My daddy is rich in houses and land; he holds the power of the entire world in the palm of his hands.  He told me to…

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